You are all weirdos! July 17, 2008

I didn’t watch much TV growing up instead I would sit outside and pout while the other neighborhood kids played basketball. Once in a while we would all play a game of Sardines (man I miss those days). But I did watch the Muppet Show and boy did I love it! First off there was singing - who doesn’t love muppets singing? There were stupid jokes - thank you Fozzy Bear. There was the requisite romance, Kermit and Miss Piggy. There were the two old guys - admit it you can’t get enough of them! I really wish they’d come out with a new and modern Muppet Show, although, not too modernized then it would be ruined. Sure they tried it a while back and it failed, but there’s no reason they can’t try again! It would do wonders for Lindsey Lohan’s image if she were to be a guest and sing a love song with Kermit and then have Miss Piggy come in and sucker punch her - America would LOVE it!

 

Now I am not your typical little girl, don’t for a second start to think that I am predictable, no, my favorite was not Kermit, or Fozzy, or Gonzo. I aspire to be unboring. I actually had two favorites: Crazy Harry and Swedish Chef. Everybody knows and loves the Swedish chef - how can you not? He’s always chasing other muppets around with a butcher knife while speaking gibberish - how is that not the funniest thing ever?

 

Good stuff. Not many people have heard of Crazy Harry though. Well, let me edumacate you as to why he was the coolest muppet ever  - he blew stuff up. That’s it. He would show up in the middle of a scene and just blow everything up. I honestly don’t know why they didn’t have him in every single sketch. But I will share my favorite Crazy Harry moment with you:

 

Notice how it’s nice girlie muppets singing a lame song and then Crazy Harry comes in and ruins it?! There’s no contest: he is by far the best Muppet. So seriously, when are they going to bring the Muppet Show back? I mean the more I think about it the more I remember how much I loved it. Veterinarians Hospital? Pigs in Space? I might start a letter writing campaign. Who’s with me?!

 

Potpourri July 2, 2008

I was reminded today of one of my many talents that had been temporarily forgotten. I spent almost all of my lunch break on the phone with 24 hour fitness arguing about fees and trying to cancel my membership, which they make absolutely impossible to do. But I got what I wanted. True I might have told a few lies stretched the truth a little bit and wasted my lunch hour, but I GET WHAT I WANT. I remember talking to a friend once and telling her I was going to return a pair of shoes I had already worn, but the buckle had broken to a store that was not Nordstroms and she was all, “You are sooo not going to get away with it.” And I was all, “Watch and learn beeyotch!” Oh, and she learned all right. I do NOT back down, which generally means I am one spoiled princess. I think I had temporarily forgotten about it because not too long ago I got my first traffic ticket. Oh, I have been pulled over multiple times, but I have always been able to sweet talk my way out of the ticket. But this time was different and I was trying to figure out changed this time and I finally figured it out: Chuckles was in the car. When I started to cry he quickly started to get annoyed so I stopped. What he didn’t know is that crying can only help the cause! Also, I couldn’t exactly flirt with the officer with him in the car. Now that I really stop and think about it I should have made him pay the ticket. What really drives me nuts about the ticket is my brother got pulled over later for making the same illegal left turn and since his drivers license showed his address as Spokane they thought he was from out of town. Well, he’s NOT. He grew up here. Obviously I am still bitter. My other talent that came to light on my lunch break is my ability to lose my car key in my car. Yes, I did it again. I would tell you how it happens, but I have no idea. But if you ever need advice on how to be a spoiled princess I’m your gal. I should teach classes I am THAT good.

As you probably inferred from the title if you watch Jeopardy as much as I do this is going to be a very random post. I was thinking this morning about music videos and how much I love them. VH1 now shows music videos in the morning, which is perfect TV watching material for while I eat my bowl of delicious corn chex. Today I saw the new Alicia Keys video for “Teenage Love Affair”, which I LOVED. At first I wasn’t sure if it was the video I loved or her humongous gold earrings that I would never be able to wear because my neck is to weak to support that kind of weight, but after a costume change I was confident it was not just the earrings I was enjoying.

I have a hard time leaving in the morning because I want my music videos! This morning I had to leave in the middle of a Coldplay video because I had a stoopid meeting, but it got me to thinking about all the cool music videos and how it can change the way you view a song. I have to say I didn’t like the “Teenage Love Affair” song as much before the video as I do now. I wasn’t allowed to watch MTV when I was growing up because it teaches you about sex and how to dress like a skank and Madonna was running around in a wedding dress singing about virgins and, anyway, it was deemed inappropriate. As a result of this I can clearly remember the first video I ever watched: it was “Black or White” by Michael Jackson. I remember it being a big deal so they showed it on the news and I watched it with my dad. Good times. Anyway, what I’m saying is music videos are da bomb and I might have to post a list soon of my favorite music videos of all time, which will include a certain Reba McEntire duet no doubt.

Lastly, I finished White Teeth by Zadie Smith. It was just as good as I thought it would be after reading the first thirty pages. I would recommend it to anyone, although, not everybody in my book club was as big a fan as I was, but I’m pretty sure we were in the majority. One of my friends had a hard time getting into it until halfway through - she does have a different way of writing and a sense of humor that not everyone understands, but I was a big fan of her writing style. Our next book is Mapmakers Wife by Robert Whittaker. I have to say I am quite enjoying the book club although we could use one or two more members. Now I just need a stitch and bitch club.

She was a fast machine June 25, 2008

I purchased a couple new CD’s about a week ago because I have an addiction and I can’t stop and apparently they don’t have rehabs for that sort of thing. One of the new CD’s was Rockferry by Duffy and I LUURRVVEE it! I have been listening to it off and on in the privacy of my office and am occasionally rudely interrupted by people who just HAVE to send out faxes and the fax machine just HAS to be set up in my office. Life is just not fair. Of course when a certain someone who I might not always be the biggest fan of, whose “sassy bridal shower” is this week and I am secretly glad to be missing it, came in I was dancing in my chair to “Mercy”. She asked me in her snootiest voice, “What exactly are you doing?” To which I replied, “Rocking out! Just listen to the song and I dare you to not dance. It’s impossible. I double dog dare you.” Instead of being a good sport and playing along she just gave me one of those looks that says, “You’re really weird.” And then she said, “You’re really weird.” But I ask you: How can you NOT dance to this?

 

 

I’m not quite sure why the dancers are on fire at the end, but still loving it!

 

While I was searching youtube for the Duffy video it reminded me of the following video. I have to give you fair warning though. It is Celine Dion. She is doing a cover of an AC/DC song. There is some air guitar going on. Press play at your own risk. Oh, and it was voted worst cover song EVER.

 

Who needs pants?! June 16, 2008

I have complained a lot about how Madonna seems to have sworn off pants. I know I am not the only one to observe this - no longer is it fluffy wedding dresses and fingerless gloves, but leotards and fishnets and I have not been a fan. And yet I am a huge fan of Madonna’s new single, Give it 2 Me. I LOVE it! While I was watching the video this weekend I realized that, Hey! Madge has got some nice legs. And maybe, no, definitely, if I had legs like her I would swear off pants. So I say: who cares Madonna! Rock the leotards and don’t listen to people like me. Although…what am I thinking?! Like Madonna gives a shit what people think. Anyways, enjoy the video - go ahead, dance around.

What this weekend was missing May 27, 2008

I hope everybody had as relaxing a Memorial Day weekend as I did. It was 100% what I needed. I am still as unorganized as I was this morning, but I am feeling much more zen about it. Like this morning when I went to eat breakfast and realized I didn’t have any clean cereal bowls instead of thinking about how my day was absolutely ruined I just went with the flow. Rolled with the punches you might say. Or maybe it was just that I was too distracted by my painful sunburn. Either way I am in a good mood despite the fact that I had no breakfast, which is unusual because I am very cranky when I am denied my food. As you have probably deduced from the sunburn comment the weather was very good for us while we were there. I spent a lot of time lounging around in my swimsuit with a glass of wine, a corona, or a margarita by my side, which other people had to buy for me because I forgot my ID at home. Unfortunately, we couldn’t lounge by our hotel’s pool because it was party central. I thought maybe we had stumbled onto an MTV reality show - I just didn’t understand how all these kids could afford to stay at the hotel AND afford all the booze AND drugs…but I guess their parents don’t mind shelling out money for a weekend of partying that can only result in new STD’s. When we checked in there was a table in the office where they had a pile of neon green bracelets and signs that said if you lost your bracelet you would have to shell out $20 for a new one. At first we were very confused and since we had seen all the rowdy college age kids wandering around our first thought was that they were to prove you were 21 years old. But then we learned it was just to prove you were staying at the hotel. If you weren’t wearing one they could kick you off the property. I was very concerned about this because, well, neon green didn’t really match the cute blue sundress I had for the party on Saturday. But I was informed that everybody in town would have one. There were definitely some interesting things going on outside our hotel room, which was a blessing really because it allowed me to do schoolwork while Chuckles chilled on the balcony and waited for one of the many wasted girls to lose a top, which was really just a matter of time. I’m sad to say that never did happen - all he got to witness was the bottoms repeated falling off a super wasted and obnoxious girl with a beer gut the size of which I have never seen on a girl before. She thought it would be a good idea to play tackle football while wearing a bikini that didn’t fit her so well. I think Chuckles was slightly annoyed with her…her ass wasn’t the one he would have chosen to see. The second night wasn’t as loud or crazy as the first night…I’m guessing it was a result of the strong police presence. Really the only thing the first night was missing was these:

Pole dancing - family activity? May 7, 2008

When I started the day out I thought I would post about my biggest fear: Spiders. I thought the world needed me to educate them on the secret powers of spiders and how there truly is reason to be afraid of them. But that will have to wait for another day because I found an article about how a new Pole Dancing Wii game is being developed. Of course I shared this link with Chuckles and we talked about the possibility of me buying this as a birthday present for my mom. This immediately led to thoughts of playing it as a family (like we do with all wii games) and that was a Bad Thought. Icky. So I completely put the whole thing out of my mind. That is until Chuckles asked if I had watched the video that accompanied the story. My reply was along the lines of: Of course not, pole dancing videos are inappropriate at my office. (It’s not inappropriate at his office - an example of a typical conversation is what do the vibrators the girls use look like.) Plus I already got caught watching a video of Crissy with a strap-on I can’t be watching too many crazy videos! Anyway, Chuckles convinced me that it was absolutely necessary that I take the time to watch. And, boy oh boy, am I glad I did! You know that feeling when laughter just erupts unexpectedly from you? Yep, that’s what happened. So, dear reader, Please watch the video! I was worried that people wouldn’t click the link to watch the video so I’m just uploading it onto here. Also, I think it is quite plausible that this video has already made the rounds because it is often that I am the last one to see these things. But if there’s just one person that I introduce this video to I will be a happy girl. So make me happy!!

 

Take that Clay Bennett! ha HA! April 15, 2008

So it looks like we might be able to keep our beloved Sonics after all!  I might have gone too far by calling them beloved…But that is beside the point.  The point is, in fact, that the truth about Clay Bennett being a sleaze ball is coming out.  AND (this is the best part) Howard Shultz is going to sue to win the team back.  No Sonics for you, Oklahoma City.  Take THAT!  And, really, why would you want them anyways?  I have a theory that they’re losing on purpose to get better draft picks - isn’t that how pro basketball works?  Truthfully, I just go to the games because Chuckles gets free tickets and it’s the best place for people watching and I have been devastated that I might lose that treasure trove of craziness.  For example, at one game there was this girl a few rows ahead of us who obviously thought she was the shit.  She would stand up at every timeout and stick her chest out.  This game was sometime in November so it was pretty chilly out and yet she was wearing lingerie.  Not that wearing lingerie in public in July would be ok - it is NOT.  I know what you’re thinking, dear reader, that it was probably just a lingerie-inspired top.  Well, TRUST ME - I had an entire game to study it and was 99% positive by the end that it had, in fact, been purchased at Frederick’s of Hollywood.  Also, there is a guy at every game who wears a brown leather jacket and does the coolest dance ever.  I want to be his friend…AND there is this little kid (who was actually on Ellen this week) who breakdances with the boom squad.  Sometimes they bring him out in a duffel bag and then he busts out and starts dancing.  So I would just like to finish by saying: You already took Wally away from me. Wasn’t that enough?!  Don’t take the Sonics fans too! 

I guess it’s time for me to do something with my life April 1, 2008

So today is my first day of school and really the end of my life as I know it.  I know I am quite possibly overreacting, but already it’s causing kinks in my social life.  Tonight I was invited to go to the Mariners game and the tickets are 2 rows behind the dugout and instead I will be stuck in an auditorium learning about financial accounting (sniffle, sniffle).  I almost want the next three years to be over with right NOW.  But another part of me is looking forward to it.  The part of me that enjoys torture and stress and being sleep-deprived.  But, for reals (I’m trying to sound more hip since I am now going back to college), I used to really enjoy being a student and was inconsolable when I graduated.  But, since I’ll be working full-time, I won’t be able to spend hours in bed and then the rest of the day in a coffee shop talking about where the party is that night…so I probably need to prepare myself for grad. school not being quite the same thing as undergrad.  Anyway, the point is today is the day that I finally get off my ass and do something with my life…kindof…if it doesn’t overwhelm me.  So…yay!  I think…Let’s just say my goal today is to at no point freak out and stay at an even keel all day.  Since this was a lame post that was really about my laziness (and deep down my fear of what will happen to me when I am not able to get 10 hours of sleep a night) here’s a Family Guy clip with Stewie and Brian.  Hee Hee.

Words Hurt March 20, 2008

Oops…I had one of those days yesterday.  Where everything was getting on my nerves.  Whenever somebody did so much as walked by my office loudly (and by loudly I mean not tiptoeing), talked a little bit too loudly (not whispering), or do really anything to interrupt the quiet that I apparently needed to be enveloped in I felt the overwhelming need to rip their head off.  This, among other reasons, made me miss my friend Justin more than I can put into words.  Justin and I used to work together and we became really close when we realized we had a common love for booze and trash talk.  Whenever I used to have these days I could just go into Justin’s office and sit there and bullshit with him for hours on end and since everybody loved him nobody got on us about not doing any work.  I could tell him anything without being judged – he would just laugh and say, “oh silly Megan who cares?”  I needed that so much yesterday.  Every morning on my way to work I drive by the church that his memorial service was held at – some days this is tougher than others.  Some mornings I don’t look at it, others I just think, ”I miss Justin,” and then there are mornings like today when I look at it and am transported to that day and can see myself chain-smoking in the parking lot in shell shock.  Justin has been weighing heavily on my mind lately.  I saw this video about a week ago and let me just say that words do hurt and my heart broke a little when I saw it – take a good listen to what Oklahoma Rep. Kern has to say:  

Justin came out to me three new year’s eves ago and took his life exactly 5 months later. People like Kern need to realize that it is not their place to judge – please!  I miss Justin with every ounce of me today and I can’t help but think how different our world would be today if we were more accepting of each other. 

Philadelphia Phillies Play A Practical Joke On Rookie Kyle Kendricks. « 生きのいい. February 20, 2008

This is too funny.

Philadelphia Phillies Play A Practical Joke On Rookie Kyle Kendricks. « 生きのいい.