My ongoing fight with food continues April 16, 2008

I had my first Clif bar last night.  Oh, yes, I did.  I somehow got over my fear of healthy food.  My co-worker who said it looked like vomited up dog food sure didn’t help, but, luckily, I don’t follow any of her advice.  If that was the case I’d buy my seven year old son a hunting knife for Christmas.  (I don’t really have a seven year old son - I’m just saying that if I did she would consider a hunting knife a good present.)  The point is not that I work with crazy people, but that the Clif bar wasn’t half bad.  It really suffices as a good snack…it does NOT, however, substitute for dinner.  I have this problem on Tuesdays and Thursdays where I have to go straight to school from work and have no time to eat dinner.  I have been on the search for a good on-the-go dinner.  Last week it was a protein shake and pita chips, but pita chips interrupt class because they are impossible to chew quietly.  So last night it was a protein shake AND a clif bar - I thought it would be total overload, but NOOOOO, instead my stomach was still growling when class started.  So I am going to have to rethink this next week and have another plan in place.  I’m thinking candy - lots of it, all day long.  Good idea?  Bad idea?  OR I could follow another co-worker’s advice and get a bag of onion rings and pull out all the onions and eat just the fried batter.  Apparently, it is really filling…I’d just have to start saving money for the stomach stapling surgery that will eventually have to transpire. 

 

Annnnywaaayyyy, on another note, I am competing in the Bigger Dance - a bracket competition of hot girls.  I am horrible at it.  I let my hatred for people get in the way of my judgment of hotness - last year I was last.  I think I will do better this year, but I really want to win.  So…I need your help because I do not trust my judgment and I’m a cheater.  I mean last year I had Eva Mendes winning it all and people thought I was crazy.  I guess she’s not super hot?  I just don’t know!  I’m starting to think that Jessica Biel is way hotter than Adriana Lima, but I have such doubts.  HELP!  So here’s my bracket - where did I lose it?

That’s not a name March 21, 2008

I wasn’t planning on posting anything today because it would have been quite a negative post about how Seattle University wasted my time yesterday.  But I really hate being a Debbie Downer so I’ll restrain myself.   But then Chuckles sent me THIS.  Read it.  You have to scroll down a little to get to the good stuff, but I’m telling you it’s worth it.  Not like scrolling down takes all energy out of you…All I have to say about it is I am Jealous and wish to have this conversation with somebody.     

Happy St. Paddy’s Day! March 17, 2008

I have to say I am quite upset that I am stuck working today. On a similar note, I am also upset that I can’t drink booze at my workplace. Stoopid business. Anyway, nothing could beat the St. Paddy’s day I had last year so it’s good I can’t even try. Last year I flew to Boston to hang with my best GF Jo and we partied at Boston bars all day long in the snow with other crazies from all over the country. Jo also met her current BF Steve-o (he hates being called that and yet that’s what we called him all day). Just like the time Jo and I went to a WSU football game with a college friend, Elsa, and her bf, Bobby, who we called Booby all day. He finally got fed up and started calling me Penis Girl, but he was way off if he thought that would deter me. Anyway, I had to post some pictures from our antics on the streets of Boston last year and I can not put into words my distress at not being there right now. I mean, seriously, I am stuck in a windowless office reconciling bank accounts (not really, I‘m blogging, but I SHOULD be reconciling - can you really blame me though?) - I NEED A BEER! So…a few highlights from my adventure:

 Before the drinking commenced:

Aaaahhh, he’s licking her face, that’s nice (we’d been drinking for a while at this point):

This is at the end of the day after Jo has stolen some nice man’s hat:

I know hate is a strong word, but I’ve thought long and hard about this and… March 13, 2008

I HATE Bush!  I really do.  I have always disliked him, but didn’t realize how strongly until this morning on my way into work when I heard two separate stories on NPR that really got me riled up.  The first story was about an Iraqi Health Minister who was on trial for being associated with death squads that were killing Sunnis in hospitals and the health minister was acquitted despite an “iron-clad” case.  The quote from an Iraqi whose brother had been killed by these death squads broke my heart:  “There is no government here, no country, no law; people can do whatever they want with no consequences.”  The sentiment was repeated over and over: there is no justice in Iraq.  All I could think is what has Bush done to this country?!  I can’t imagine what it must be like to live in Iraq right now – I imagine I would constantly be afraid that death was right around the corner.  How’s that for quality of life? 

 The second story didn’t make me sad instead it made me furious. 

Bueno! February 27, 2008

I am absolutely loving the Big Brother 9 cast.  Although, I can’t help wondering if there’s an IQ limit when casting…either that or only not so smart people apply to be on the show.  Anyway, I think it goes without saying that these people are crazy.  They didn’t show it last night (maybe it’ll be part of tonight’s show) but they practically had an orgy in the pool one night after Chelsia, Natalie, and Josh did a striptease for the whole house.  But, despite not showing any of the striptease (I think all they’ll be able to show anyways is Natalie going on about how she’s never kissed a girl before), last night’s show was still interesting thanks to Amanda and Allison both having to be taken to the hospital.  They never did say what brought on Allison’s allergic reaction and I’m quite curious…  At any rate, my point of all this is that after all this craziness happened mental case Sheila said, “We’re not robots, we have feelings!”  Thank God for Sheila and that epiphany and I will do my best to remind people every day that we are, in fact, not robots.

The Liberal Mind February 22, 2008

I find Ann Coulter quite entertaining.  Recently I read a quote of hers about how John McCain is worse than the democratic nominees and this election will be like putting a gun in her mouth.  In fact she’s endorsed Hillary Clinton instead of McCain.  I mean she’s absolutely hilarious!  Am I right or am I right?  After reading this awesome quote of hers I decided to go to her website to see what other jewels I could unearth.  But, instead, I found something very serious and I can’t thank Ann Coulter enough for bringing it to my attention.  Apparently, being liberal is a mental disorder.  In fact an eminent psychiatrist has written a book delving into this serious issue.  Here’s a link to the book:  http://www.amazon.com/Liberal-Mind-Psychological-Political-Madness/dp/097795630X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203707166&sr=8-1.  And here’s a little excerpt from the product description: 

So extravagant are the patterns of thinking, emoting, behaving and relating that characterize the liberal mind that its relentless protests and demands become understandable only as disorders of the psyche.

 All I have to say is thank god my medical insurance kicks in in a week and I can be treated for this horrible disease.  Tell your liberal friends!    

Did I hear that right? February 20, 2008

Check out this article in the Salt Lake Tribune.  A senator in Utah, Buttars, referred to an education bill as “a black baby.  A dark, ugly thing.”  And people think racism no longer exists. 

www.sltrib.com//ci_8242425?IADID=Search-www.sltrib.com-www.sltrib.com

Song lyrics to incorporate into everyday conversation February 18, 2008

1.  Abracadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya!

2. Get out of my dreams, Get into my car.

3.  Lend me some sugar, I AM your neighbor!

4. If the elevator tries to get you down, go CRAZY!

5. Let’s get physical, physical!

Insanity! February 13, 2008

Nerd Alert! February 13, 2008

So I have this secret ambition…well, that’s not completely true.  But how far I am willing to go to achieve it is something of a secret and has been very well-guarded.  I want to be on Jeopardy – and here’s the key: not make a fool of myself on national television.  So I was watching it last night and I F’ing kicked ass!!  That’s right – I would have won…that is until final jeopardy when I didn’t have a clue (which would have been quite embarrassing…). Comparable in my mind to going to work and somehow managing to not wear pants (not quite sure if that’s possible, but considering that I can never remember the first hour or so of my day I think it is in the realm of possibilities).  So, anyway, given this calamity I decided that before I audition I need to study up – can’t be too difficult – right?  Please tell me I’m right!  So I come into work this morning and the top on my to do list is do a little bit of research and come up with a plan – because if I have a plan surely I can do as well as Ken Jennings!  So…here’s what I found:  http://www.pisspoor.com/jep.html.  Perfect: A step-by-step guide to how to win on Jeopardy!  I’m golden.  Memorize the state capitals you say?  Sure thing – piece of cake!  Memorize every Senator and cabinet member…ever?  A little bit more difficult, but I’m in for the long run.  Hold the phone – did I read that correctly?  I need to watch every jeopardy show twice?  Do you KNOW how annoying some of those people are?!  Now it’s just getting ridiculous…I’d just love to see the look on my boyfriend’s face when he comes home to see me watching a taped Jeopardy with a fake buzzer that I somehow fashioned out of a pen and the gi-normous light he uses when he’s painting trained on my face so I’m used to the “pressures of the studio.”  Almost worth it actually – however, I do not want to see the look on his face when he then breaks up with me for being too pathetic for him to be seen with…oh well, there’s goes another dream flushed down the toilet.