Nobody warned me about the death spirals! July 10, 2008

All my life I’ve never been sure what I was supposed to be when I grew up. For a long time I thought I was meant to be an actress, but that was only because I knew I would be the girl with the most stylish dress at the Oscars. Now I secretly think I would be a fantabulous stylist for the Stars…I mean Brit Brit could really use me in her court, but I imagine I would have to move to LA and I will never ever live in SoCal.

 

Then I wanted to be a librarian simply because I figured my job would be reading books and alphabetizing. (Don’t worry I now realize there’s more to it than that, but I was young and no one informed me otherwise). And then, don’t ask me why, I decided I wanted to be a postman. It seemed like a job that required good organization skills, which is something I have an abundance of. This might surprise those of you who know me out in the “real world” whatever the hell that is, but as Chuckles can now attest to after living me with me for only a few weeks I don’t take well to clutter. Everything MUST have a home and it’s home MUST be pretty. Anyway, I soon learned that postmen don’t make the kind of money that I was interested in making.

 

Finally, after years over agonizing over what to be, I settled on Doctor. I always thought Doctor Pinckney had a nice ring to it and I would be helping people. Oh, and I would make a lot of money, but that was only a teensy eensy part of my decision making process. I even went so far as to take the MCAT’s twice and throw $3 G’s down the tube because, well, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you, but it is fucking expensive to apply to med. school and I didn’t even get to the part where I fly around the country going to interviews. Soooo, long story short, a certain someone forgot to turn in my letter of reference and nobody notified me and my applications were all late. Thanks a LOT Washington State Chemistry Department! I’m not bitter or anything. Actually, I’m not because now I am really glad that I am not living in Vermont and that my life isn’t completely taken over by work. Not that there’s anything wrong with Vermont.

 

That brings me to now and why I want to be an accountant. Basically, when your life falls to pieces around you it forces you to pick them back up and try to put it all back together and you start to reevaluate the choices you had made. I realized that the life of a 9-5 office worker isn’t as bad as I once thought. The stability of it all was attractive. You know - I would always have a job, make decent money - what could go wrong? Well, last night as I was reading my book for class last night there was a section in the chapter titled, “Beware of the Cost Allocation Death Spiral.” DEATH SPIRALS?! Nobody told me there would be any risk taking in accounting! I don’t even know what a death spiral is, but if I had to guess I would imagine a plane going down NOT allocating costs incorrectly. I eagerly read the section waiting for them to tell me how I could avoid these “death spirals” and, you know what, they didn’t even mention them. Not once. So, now, thanks to this stupid book I will be constantly afraid of the death spiral that is surely waiting for me in the next excel spreadsheet I open. I’m starting to think it would be safer for me to be a stunt man in Hollywood or a daredevil like Evil Knievel. At least if I was a daredevil I could wear a jumpsuit with flames on the side. Career change? Here I come!!!

She’s BAAACCCKKKK! June 27, 2008

Everyone’s favorite - time for more school stories because I’m sure everybody couldn’t wait for me to start complaining about how stressed I am. Did you miss it? Don’t answer that. Don’t worry though (no need to stop reading) - it’s just a teensy weensy update. I had my first class for the summer quarter last night. It wasn’t so bad despite the knowledge that it was sunny out and I was trapped in a classroom for a three and a half hour class with NO BREAK! Dear God did I have to pee. Anyway, when I showed up to campus I saw a table full of people I knew and went to join them and talk about what gluttons for punishment we are. I was disappointed to discover that none of them were taking my class. I guess I never got the memo about what classes to take for the summer. Oh well, I figured surely there would be one, just one person, that I would know so I downed my second coke of the day and then grabbed my third coffee of the day and went to find my classroom. Who was the first person I see when I walk in? Oh, only my ENEMY! Dun dun dun. She was sitting in the first row right by the door with her trusty laptop plugged in so everybody could conveniently trip over the cord. I quickly made my way to the last row on the opposite side of the room. I have learned my lesson - no need to sit anywhere close to her and get all her wacky advice and hear about how unbelievably fabulous her fantastic life is. MY LIFE IS FANTASTIC TOO YOU KNOW! Do you see what she does to me? I find myself yelling out things spontaneously that nobody needs to know in an effort to beat her. I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS! Anyway, I will share only one tidbit about her from last night. The prof. was asking what people had heard about the class and she spoke up and said, “I’ve heard you’re a very engaging teacher!” I rolled my eyes as a guy two rows in front of me loudly said, “Wow, that was shameless.” The prof. joked that he had paid her $5, but he HADN’T! That’s just how she is!

 

Anycrap, that was my night. Fun freakin’ times. I was naively hoping he would say class was canceled or unnecessary next Thursday given that it’s the night before the fourth of July and the day of the famous Pinckney Open, which is not really famous (don’t worry you’re not a dum dum for not being aware of it) it is just the annual family reunion that I have been consistently missing for years. Alas, it was made abundantly clear that there is not one class that can be missed. I was already going to miss the golf tournament because of work, which, really, is a good thing. Me playing golf is an ugly, ugly thing to watch and occasionally causes violence…usually in me. I did want to attend the awards dinner and hang with my hi-larious cousins though, but I guess it was not meant to be.

 

I will leave you on this lovely Friday with a video of the comedian that I am going to see tonight.

 

 

Oh coffee, I don’t know how to quit you June 10, 2008

Today is the day of my last final. Then my first quarter will be over and I will only have three years to go. Only Three Years! Tell me it will go by fast. Please? On my way to work I decided that I deserved a treat to pump myself up for said final. The treat I finally, after much deliberation, decided on was a strong mocha. This is why my diet doesn’t work. I always believe that I deserve a treat for something or other. Some days it is as simple as, hey, I got out of bed this morning, or I dressed myself and I don’t clash, or I didn’t slap my coworker ONCE today. So I need to find a new treat, but the only other thing I’ve come up with is shoes. But I’m just not sure it is a good idea to replace unhealthy eating with credit card debt. But that’s a post for another day (but feel free to share ideas for good substitutes - and “no treat” is not a good substitute so don’t even try it!). My post is supposed to be about my love/hate relationship with Tully’s. I go out of my way in the morning to get Tully’s coffee instead of Starbucks. Starbucks is only acceptable in emergencies and I always regret it because it tastes like shit. That’s right - poop. I don’t really know what poop tastes like, but if I had to guess I’d say Starbucks coffee. So I choose Tully’s instead. For a long time I went to a stand by my apartment called Cheap Shots Espresso and it was really cheap, hence the name. Get It?! But then one day she started screaming on the phone and sobbing about how her son was being taken away from her and my coffee tasted horrible that day so I stopped going. But I do make sacrifices for Tully’s. For example, I hate every single person that works there.

 

First, there’s the below average intelligence girl with the unnaturally high voice who never EVER remembers how to ring up my oh so simple triple grande mocha. It’s not so much the stupidity that drives me nuts as the voice - it’s the squeakiest voice I have ever heard. Scouts honor.

 

Second, there’s the know it all who is always telling people they’re making the drinks incorrectly. EVERY DAY. That’s not what I want to hear in the morning. It makes me anxious. I love my coffee, it is the only thing that gets me out of bed and the last thing I want to hear was that the espresso shots sat for 12 seconds before being mixed with the milk. Just don’t say anything and I won’t be able to tell the difference. I Promise!

 

Third, there’s the girl who is just working there to save enough money to travel the world and do you want to hear about all the places she’s been? Maybe one day I will want her to regale me with her stories, but usually I am running late for work and NO, I do not want to hear about the time you went rock climbing in Brazil with all those midgets. Actually, if there were midgets involved I would be willing to be late to work, but there weren’t.

 

Fourth, there’s the guy who creeps the hell out of me. He doesn’t blink. He just stares at me. Once, I had to remind him to give me change. He was just staring. I think girls make him uncomfortable, which is odd because he works with ALL girls. Now that I think about it I wonder if he is starting a staring contest with me and I have been losing all along. That’s a very troubling thought…I hate to lose.

 

The other thing that drives me nuts and, this is completely unrelated to the workers, is the video screen they have set up. It is for announcements. Supposedly it is a fun way to ask people out to prom. Or to tell everybody what color your kids’ eyes are because everybody wants to know. Of course nobody ever buys ad space on this and instead they use it for stupid trivia like today:

 

What movie character was known for wearing ruby red slippers?

1. Dorothy from Wizard of Oz
2. Alice from Alice in Wonderland
3. Rambo from Rambo

 

I yelled out Rambo really loudly, but surprisingly I was way off. Who knew?! Tully’s is edumacating me.

 

Lastly, the contest for who has the longest drink order drives me nuts simply because of this picture:

 

For the longest time I wasn’t sure if it was a man or woman. I’m pretty sure it’s a man, but I would say only 90% sure.

You want me to be sassy? June 4, 2008

Reasons I am glad to be in school:

 

1.  I missed it…I like studying I guess? Only a little though. Let’s just say I enjoy it a lot more than work. It is nice (even though I was scared of it at first) to somewhat define myself as a student as opposed to defining myself by my work. The thought that one day I will like what I spend forty hours of my week doing is really the best motivation ever!

 

2.  I see the coolest outfits. I really didn’t expect this. I was used to Pullman. People tried to look like they had walked out of the pages of Cosmo, not Vogue. I am used to being the fashion-y person at work and I am so NOT at school. My outfits aren’t bad necessarily, they’re just boring. So I’m taking notes from these gals who don’t follow the rules. Last night I saw one girl wearing a filmy summer dress with a black turtleneck, black leggings, and the coolest graphic rain boots. I now NEED graphic, colorful rain boots. I saw another girl wearing a very simple outfit, gray v-neck and black Bermuda shorts, and she was wearing a ton of simple gold jewelry. I would have never have thought to do that myself - I’ve always had an aversion to gold jewelry with gray, but it looked Fabulous.

 

3.  This is ironic given my post yesterday, but….it’s a really good excuse. I’m not talking about excuse for going out with friends or family, I’m talking about work events. I have never been so thankful as when I found out that my first class of the summer quarter just happens to coincide with a certain someone’s bridal shower. I hate bridal shower’s in general. They are painful. Period. My sister and mom have promised me that if they ever throw me a bridal shower it will be non-traditional. I just can’t handle how those games you have to play and I LIKE games. This particular bridal shower is made even worse given that it is thrown by people who are over-the-top in every way. Also, they are outgoing in a way that just makes me tired and want to climb in bed. AND the attire is Sassy. What does that mean exactly? Luckily for me, I don’t have to think that far into it because thanks to school I do not have to go. Sassy attire - who are they kidding?! I think if I were to go I would find the craziest outfit Possible. As in sequined poncho and feathers and super mini and rain boots and then when they gave me a weird look I could be all, “WHAT?! You said dress SASSY! Is this not what you had in mind?”

Booze will always be there for you June 3, 2008

I have this quandary that I need help with. Or to be more exact, I need to get all my thoughts out on paper. Once I do that why not post it on my blog right? I know you all want to read my inner monologue. I know these things because one of my eyes doubles as a crystal ball. By that I mean I can take my eye out and see the future. It’s a really cool bar trick. What was I talking about again? Oh, right, my quandary. Well, it’s not really a quandary - it is a fact of life that I can not fix and yet feel that I should be able to fix. It is at times like this that I curse God for not giving me super powers. Right now my power would be the ability to stop time. Then I could get everything done and have time to socialize. The thing is that my friendships have changed a lot in the past couple years. I can not contribute the same amount of time to my friendships as I once did. For one thing I am in a serious relationship with the man of my dreams and he is pretty high on my list of priorities. Second, I am now a full-time graduate student, while working full time, and this is equally high on my priorities because my potential career means a lot to me. But it is very hard to convey this to people who were used to me being a lot more social and fun. I am no longer fun. This is fact. Annnywaaay, I feel horrible every time somebody asks me to coffee or to a movie or what have you and I always have other plans, lame plans. I think they get the impression that I am making excuses. When I really am not - I’m not a good liar, they would see right through it. But when I do finally meet up with friends I just feel guilty for not spending time with them (it doesn’t help that some go out of their way to give me a guilt trip). I just want to scream I’m BUSY! But I know how it sounds…because I know how it used to sound to me. So I just want to say: I am perfectly aware that I am not the sole owner of the “I’m really busy” statement, but understand that I AM! I didn’t lose 8 pounds this month because I was eating healthier. It was because I stopped eating. Not because I am all of the sudden anorexic, although I considered it, but because I just don’t have time to eat let alone go to the grocery store and buy food. Trust me sometimes I want to duct tape my own mouth shut to stop the whining.

 

Thank god for my leadership class though (did you ever think you’d hear me say that?) because it is comforting to talk to my classmates who are having the same dilemma and know I’m not the only one. I spent four hours working with a classmate last night working on a project and of course we did not stay focused for the whole time and got talking about non-accounting topics. She said something as we complained about our teachers over the top requirements of us that hit home with me: I barely have time for my husband - there is zero time in my schedule for anything that doesn’t fall under the headings: school, work, family. I realize the argument here is that friends who don’t understand this aren’t worth keeping around, but these are friends I have had for as many as twenty years and it is not easy for me to let go. At the same time, I feel like making time for them is turning into a duty - something I dread. If I were to call and make plans with, N for example, it would have to be three weeks from now. So for three weeks I would be thinking I have one free Saturday and instead of reading at the beach and I’ll be driving across town for coffee with a side helping of guilt. Of course, saying out loud that hanging with my friends is a duty much on the same level as work makes me feel like a total shit. The problem is there is no easy solution. One of my classmates said to me on my retreat that her friends have all been telling her that she has not been keeping her end of the friendship up and she completely agrees with them and, yet, has no idea how to fix it. I have no idea how to fix mine either. I want to - my friendships have meant the world to me. Ultimately, I know that the friends who understand and don’t give me a hard time when I say no are the keepers and the ones that don’t will go to the wayside. I know this post is probably coming off as whiney and like I am simply trying to make excuses for not being a good friend…but I don’t think it’s that simple. I have maintained contact with a lot of friends from high school and it was easy when I was single and just out of college, but things are more complicated now. I’m making more excuses…I might as well just say my dog ate my homework and get on with it. Well, at least I’ll always have wine. It doesn’t expect a lot from me. It never judges or hates. It is just full of love and acceptance.

An update on my enemy May 28, 2008

I was truly in a good mood last night (at one point Chuckles asked me if I was on drugs) - it’s amazing what a relief it is to finally realize that you will, in fact, finish everything on your to do list on time. And let me tell you, it is a damn good thing I was in a good mood last night because if I hadn’t have been I would have had to have words with the Enemy. That’s right - WORDS! When I was telling Chuckles how obnoxious she was he asked if it was a catfight waiting to happen. I replied that it was possible, but there’s only one class left…but she would have no chance against me! Don’t mess with the Meganator! Annnywaayy, at the beginning of class our prof. was talking about this big project we have do next week and I was quietly writing a note to the girl, M, who’s in my group and sits next to me when I turned to give it to her she was looking with disbelief behind me and kind of laughing. I turned around to see the Enemy had stood up from her seat in the middle of lecture to go talk to her group and was standing with her back to the teacher. Of course the teacher just gave her a weird look and went on with what he was saying. But, seriously, whatever she had to say couldn’t wait til the break?! Insane! I imagine she’s the type of person that talks on her phone when she’s in line at the grocery store…and talks really loudly so everybody can hear the conversation because, well, you know, everybody wants to hear about how her bridesmaid had the AUDACITY to put on 15 pounds since she had her dress fitted and what, oh what, is she going to do? The girl kills me…or, I should say, drives me to kill. After she finally sat in her seat (right behind me I might add) she proceeded to start her computer…with the volume up. Then she shut it down. Then she restarted it. Then she typed something very frantically. Then she shut it down again. Then she loudly packed her things and left 45 minutes before class was over. I simply don’t understand people like this - they are completely in their own little world and it is mind-bottling! HAHA…mind-bottling…Anyway, somebody needs to teach her to be aware of the people around her and I don’t plan on it being me, but who knows what antics she’ll be up to next week. Plus after pulling a possible all-nighter next Monday I will NOT be in the mood for the Enemy. Does anybody have any pointers on how to win in a cat fight?

Is this annoying? May 19, 2008

I get to complain again about how I have to go out of town and it is too much for me to handle. I leave for Las Vegas on Wednesday for a business trip and fly back late Thursday night only to leave early Friday morning to spend Memorial Day weekend in sunny Chelan with annoying families with obnoxious teenagers wandering around in skimpy bikinis. Gawd, I’m so negative I annoy myself sometimes. Just to clarify: I am REALLY looking forward to Chelan. I’ll be drinking a lot of wine, it’s free because Chuckles’ boss is unbelievably generous, and I get to go out of town, which is imperative. But because of the Vegas trip and class tomorrow night I have to get Everything done today. This caused me to panic slightly on my way into work this morning. To comfort myself I have planned out my entire week and not one minute will be wasted and there is little sleep involved. I also stopped for coffee and a croissant on my way to work because I use food to self-medicate. I think for my diet to be successful I need to find another way to “self-soothe.” OR I simply need to stop over-reacting. Soooo, while I was trying to plan out my 24 hours in Vegas and since I don’t expect to be in meetings non-stop I thought I would try to use my spare time to study as opposed to gambling and the following thought actually crossed my mind: I wonder if there’s a quiet café on the strip where I can study. WHO THE FUCK says that?! I quickly caught myself, but I am slightly worried that, although I stopped myself this time, I might be on an irreversible downhill slide towards super lameness. Now I will have to formulate an action plan to stop the intruding lameness. Just one more thing to add to my list…

 

But this plan will have to be taken care of at a later point in time (dangerous I know, but I have NO choice). Today I must go to the grocery store, pharmacy, library, do laundry, bake cookies, and pack. I’m sure everybody was dying to know my to do list - it’s so fascinating! But the point that I am clumsily trying to make is there is NO time for a pedicure. EEEKKKK! This might seem like it should be on the bottom of my priorities and obviously it is because it isn’t going to get done, but that doesn’t make it unimportant! I’m going on this trip with girls that are all super cute because they have time to work out and naturally have a high metabolism and have lots of money, which equates to designer duds, and I MUST look my best. Otherwise my self-confidence will take a hit and I will hide in a corner and nobody will invite me back. Since I will not be able to sport my bikini because it turns out that Junior is not quite ready to see the light of day and I will be wearing summer clothes that are two seasons old because school loans make shopping impractical and, more importantly, people yell at me when I shop because I am “spending money I don’t have”. See Dad? I do listen! Once again (I can’t seem to make my point without rambling) I can NOT go with paint-chipped toenails. When I realized this fact this morning I started to turn into the HULK. Not really the Hulk, but my version of the Hulk. I don’t actually get really big muscles and tear my clothes OR turn green, but I do get mean and pissy. I was trying to think what my personal version of the Hulk would be called and I finally decided on Sassypants. Shut up - I was too angry to be witty. I know it sounds wussy, but you have to say remember to say it forcefully. So, annnyyywaaayyy, Sassypants is in full force this week and there won’t be much blogging being done by her. Unless of course the group she is meeting with in Vegas is super disorganized and she has nothing to do. I’m not sure why I all the sudden started talking in the third person there. It looks like I might have come down with Mulitple Personality Disorder…hmmmm, this could be an interesting week, assuming, of course, that I crack under the pressure. I’ll keep you updated.

I was wrong…Again May 12, 2008

Don’t you hate it when you have to admit you were wrong? This past weekend retreat wasn’t total bullshit. I actually (gulp) had fun. I made a lot of new friends, which makes school a LOT more bearable. Talking with other students who are in the same boat as me and just as stressed somehow made me not as stressed despite the fact that there are still not enough hours in the week. We were able to give each other pep talks about how sleep is overrated and it’s only a month and it’ll all be over soon. But (I hate when there’s a but for good things) there was one negative thing. There was a girl who had a very negative attitude and whenever I had any interaction with her it really had an effect on me and she said some very questionable things to me. By questionable I mean rude and bitchy. Luckily, we were only in the same group Saturday morning. But I find myself dreading class this week because I don’t want to see her. I have always been the type of person to be easily influenced by the moods of those around me, but I am really going to focus on not letting other’s negativity affect me to such a great extent.  I find myself focusing solely on her as opposed to the rest of the weekend, which I seem to remember genuinely enjoying. The interesting thing is as I was watching this person out of the corner of my eye so that if she started to approach me I could make a quick get-away I noticed that she never smiled or laughed. That can’t be a fun way to live so I am doing my best to not focus on her behavior towards me because I don’t believe it has anything to do with me (considering we had zero interaction before this weekend), I think she must just have her own issues to work out. Since I am the type of person that can not stand it when people don’t like me I kept reaching out to her over the weekend and it did NOT go well. I really need to learn to let go and accept the fact that there is only one person out of thirty that doesn’t like and who gives a shit. Plus I don’t even like her much so why do I want her to like me? I have no fucking idea.

 

So I will end on a happy note. There was no ropes course as previously believed. Instead, there was something far worse: a giant ladder. I know it doesn’t sound so bad does it? Well, you are just going to have to trust me on this one. I thought it would be really easy…that is until I got up on it and proceeded to hyperventilate and swear like a motherfucking pirate. My class was quite shocked, which, in turn, shocked me. Is it really that shocking to hear a girl scream FUCK at the top of her lungs? Don’t worry though, they weren’t offended. They were shocked in a that was really funny way. For some reason when people first meet me they think I am a goody goody. I am not sure why I give off that type of vibe, but I do and people always end up surprised as they get to know me. The other good thing is that we were constantly moving and the food sucked so I am pretty sure I lost around five pounds. Woohoo! In my mind that brings me into bikini territory…I just have to maintain it for the rest of the summer or even better: keep losing weight.

 

I really dropped a lot of F-bombs in this post. I apologize to anybody I offended, but once I start I can’t fucking stop.

It is time for the ropes course May 8, 2008

Tomorrow is the first day of the retreat that I have been so whiney and negative about ever since I found out that I had to do this. I am pretty much all packed and ready for a weekend spent outside in the rain. That is a complete lie. I am in no way an outdoorsy girl and as a result do not own clothes that are conducive for doing ropes courses in the pouring down rain. Annywaaayyy, this retreat is actually being held at a sixth grade camp that is similar to the fifth grade camp that I went to, therefore, I will have as much fun now as I did then. Right? But then again I am no longer eleven years old. That and I’m not going with my very best friend…no, instead I’m going with relative strangers, people I’ve only known for a couple weeks and sleeping in sleeping bags in a bunker like cabin with them. BUT my attitude as improved drastically in the past week. This is because we learned that we can go to the local bars at night. Hip-hip-hooray for Beer! I’m not an alcoholic I promise. Still when I stop and really think that my ENTIRE weekend will be spent doing “experiential exercises” instead of my accounting homework, or spring cleaning, or sleeping, I start to feel the panic creeping in and by creeping I mean coming at me like a tidal wave. This is a good sign in my book though - the forced interaction with people is no longer causing hyperventilation instead it is the horrible STEALING of my precious precious free time. They’re filthy little thieves. In addition, this same class is taking my NEXT Saturday away from me by making me do Good things for OTHER people. Instead, of sleeping for 12 hours I will have to get up early to paint and do yard work at a low income house. Whatever. Who knows, maybe this retreat will provide all sorts of blog fodder. My fingers are crossed!

I am easily overwhelmed April 30, 2008

I read an interesting post at Toujours Complexe the other day. It was about how she was just blogging for her mom and she was going to stop worrying about marketing herself. It totally hit home for me - I feel this pressure to post something every day and that it has to be funny (and I’m not really a funny person - so you can imagine the pressure I feel from trying to pull jokes out of my ass when there’s none there). I don’t know where this pressure is coming from…I mean the whole point of blogging was for me to write whatever the hell I wanted and not give a shit because I don’t personally know the interwebs. And yet, I HATE it when I think I’ve written a boring post. I mean I have other things to worry about, such as how to calculate an RNOA ratio or how to avoid eating that disgusting barbecue lunch my coworkers are planning or when am I going to find time to make more cookies. All much more pressing than this blog that I am writing. Really I just started it as a fling because I thought I had something funny to say about Jeopardy, but beyond that I guess I don’t have much to say. Ok, that’s not entirely true. I have a lot of hateful things to say, but I feel bad when I write them. I just don’t think I can feel good about myself if I write a post about what a horrible mother my co-worker is, but that is what I want to write about. Seriously, though, maybe he didn’t like Superbad because he is ONLY 7 YEARS OLD and maybe you should be grateful for that fact! Also, I don’t think a hunting knife is an appropriate present for a 7 year old. Annnywaaay, my point is that when I started this I didn’t care if people read it, I was just entertaining myself, but then the number of page views started climbing and people started commenting (Gasp!) and they weren’t saying things like, “Pull your pants up Bitch!” (I didn’t understand it, but that was my first ever comment) and I started getting all inexplicably excited and wanting more and more and more. It was like that time I was addicted to crack cocaine. Yes. That bad. Well…maybe not that bad. I’m not willing to give strangers blow jobs for more page views. I’m not that crazy! Really, I’m not - you’ve got to believe me. But, I’m going to try and not care as much, because my humor is a special brand of humor that only a select few very very special people understand. So as my friend’s dad is fond of saying, “Who gives a fuck what other people think?!” Cheers! Just to be clear: I Love that I have readers and comments I’m just not going to stab myself in the eye with a pencil when I can’t think of anything interesting to say.

 

So I wrote this post yesterday afternoon before my dreaded midterm and that part where I said I needed to be worried about how to calculate an RNOA ratio? Fucking right on! But it was good ‘cause I have that one down. But the NOTM ratio and the MTRO ratio? Not so much. I just made that second one up. But that’s how I felt on the midterm: How can the Professor make up ratios for us to calculate?! That Sadist. You know that feeling when you get to a problem and have no idea, absolutely NONE, how to solve it? That feeling where the vomit is on the way up. I did not feel good leaving that test. I am confident I passed, but I am far from confident that I did my best and I am one crazy perfectionist so from now on School is my top priority, NOT losing weight. That was my mistake last week. Although…I have lost like four pounds in the past two weeks and that may not seem like a lot, but it does make me feel like I’m on the right path…New Plan: Both School and Weight-loss will be top priorities and Sleep falls to the bottom of all priorities. Who needs sleep? Am I right or am I right?