Potpourri July 2, 2008

I was reminded today of one of my many talents that had been temporarily forgotten. I spent almost all of my lunch break on the phone with 24 hour fitness arguing about fees and trying to cancel my membership, which they make absolutely impossible to do. But I got what I wanted. True I might have told a few lies stretched the truth a little bit and wasted my lunch hour, but I GET WHAT I WANT. I remember talking to a friend once and telling her I was going to return a pair of shoes I had already worn, but the buckle had broken to a store that was not Nordstroms and she was all, “You are sooo not going to get away with it.” And I was all, “Watch and learn beeyotch!” Oh, and she learned all right. I do NOT back down, which generally means I am one spoiled princess. I think I had temporarily forgotten about it because not too long ago I got my first traffic ticket. Oh, I have been pulled over multiple times, but I have always been able to sweet talk my way out of the ticket. But this time was different and I was trying to figure out changed this time and I finally figured it out: Chuckles was in the car. When I started to cry he quickly started to get annoyed so I stopped. What he didn’t know is that crying can only help the cause! Also, I couldn’t exactly flirt with the officer with him in the car. Now that I really stop and think about it I should have made him pay the ticket. What really drives me nuts about the ticket is my brother got pulled over later for making the same illegal left turn and since his drivers license showed his address as Spokane they thought he was from out of town. Well, he’s NOT. He grew up here. Obviously I am still bitter. My other talent that came to light on my lunch break is my ability to lose my car key in my car. Yes, I did it again. I would tell you how it happens, but I have no idea. But if you ever need advice on how to be a spoiled princess I’m your gal. I should teach classes I am THAT good.

As you probably inferred from the title if you watch Jeopardy as much as I do this is going to be a very random post. I was thinking this morning about music videos and how much I love them. VH1 now shows music videos in the morning, which is perfect TV watching material for while I eat my bowl of delicious corn chex. Today I saw the new Alicia Keys video for “Teenage Love Affair”, which I LOVED. At first I wasn’t sure if it was the video I loved or her humongous gold earrings that I would never be able to wear because my neck is to weak to support that kind of weight, but after a costume change I was confident it was not just the earrings I was enjoying.

I have a hard time leaving in the morning because I want my music videos! This morning I had to leave in the middle of a Coldplay video because I had a stoopid meeting, but it got me to thinking about all the cool music videos and how it can change the way you view a song. I have to say I didn’t like the “Teenage Love Affair” song as much before the video as I do now. I wasn’t allowed to watch MTV when I was growing up because it teaches you about sex and how to dress like a skank and Madonna was running around in a wedding dress singing about virgins and, anyway, it was deemed inappropriate. As a result of this I can clearly remember the first video I ever watched: it was “Black or White” by Michael Jackson. I remember it being a big deal so they showed it on the news and I watched it with my dad. Good times. Anyway, what I’m saying is music videos are da bomb and I might have to post a list soon of my favorite music videos of all time, which will include a certain Reba McEntire duet no doubt.

Lastly, I finished White Teeth by Zadie Smith. It was just as good as I thought it would be after reading the first thirty pages. I would recommend it to anyone, although, not everybody in my book club was as big a fan as I was, but I’m pretty sure we were in the majority. One of my friends had a hard time getting into it until halfway through - she does have a different way of writing and a sense of humor that not everyone understands, but I was a big fan of her writing style. Our next book is Mapmakers Wife by Robert Whittaker. I have to say I am quite enjoying the book club although we could use one or two more members. Now I just need a stitch and bitch club.

She was a fast machine June 25, 2008

I purchased a couple new CD’s about a week ago because I have an addiction and I can’t stop and apparently they don’t have rehabs for that sort of thing. One of the new CD’s was Rockferry by Duffy and I LUURRVVEE it! I have been listening to it off and on in the privacy of my office and am occasionally rudely interrupted by people who just HAVE to send out faxes and the fax machine just HAS to be set up in my office. Life is just not fair. Of course when a certain someone who I might not always be the biggest fan of, whose “sassy bridal shower” is this week and I am secretly glad to be missing it, came in I was dancing in my chair to “Mercy”. She asked me in her snootiest voice, “What exactly are you doing?” To which I replied, “Rocking out! Just listen to the song and I dare you to not dance. It’s impossible. I double dog dare you.” Instead of being a good sport and playing along she just gave me one of those looks that says, “You’re really weird.” And then she said, “You’re really weird.” But I ask you: How can you NOT dance to this?

 

 

I’m not quite sure why the dancers are on fire at the end, but still loving it!

 

While I was searching youtube for the Duffy video it reminded me of the following video. I have to give you fair warning though. It is Celine Dion. She is doing a cover of an AC/DC song. There is some air guitar going on. Press play at your own risk. Oh, and it was voted worst cover song EVER.

 

Who needs pants?! June 16, 2008

I have complained a lot about how Madonna seems to have sworn off pants. I know I am not the only one to observe this - no longer is it fluffy wedding dresses and fingerless gloves, but leotards and fishnets and I have not been a fan. And yet I am a huge fan of Madonna’s new single, Give it 2 Me. I LOVE it! While I was watching the video this weekend I realized that, Hey! Madge has got some nice legs. And maybe, no, definitely, if I had legs like her I would swear off pants. So I say: who cares Madonna! Rock the leotards and don’t listen to people like me. Although…what am I thinking?! Like Madonna gives a shit what people think. Anyways, enjoy the video - go ahead, dance around.

Speed Harmonization? April 8, 2008

On my way into work this morning I was listening to a radio show as I was stuck in traffic and, ironically, they were talking about the traffic problem that is Seattle.  If the Governor would just give me a call like I asked I could tell her how to fix it:  PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.  It’s sooooo easy.  We live in a city full of hippies and already people are dumping their cars for bikes – imagine how many people would dump their cars for public transit if they COULD!  I would love to take the bus to work and school – but, unfortunately, that is not an option.  But the Governor will not even give me the courtesy of a call and instead Seattle is going to try a European solution (everything in Europe is better – didn’t you know?).  This solution is called speed harmonization.  What happens is they continually change the speed limit on I-5 approaching Seattle because if the speed limit is 35 then there will be no bottlenecks.  Logical isn’t it?  NO, IT IS NOT!  Don’t be stupid!  The problem with Seattle drivers is they don’t understand that you have to speed up to get places faster.  And just in case you were wondering I am not the only one who thinks this – I have heard the same thing from other out-of-towners (I’m not really an out-of-towner, but I am 100% with them in hatred of Seattle drivers).  Anyway, I am somewhat worried about the leadership in this city thinking that this is a good idea.  I’ll tell you what causes a bottleneck – right before you hit Seattle, I-5 goes from 5 lanes to 2 and I genuinely don’t understand why asking people to go slower will help.  Mostly because, and to give them the benefit of the doubt maybe they didn’t notice, people are already going at speeds less than 35 mph.  So, yeah, genius f’ing idea…I’m begging you just give me a subway or BART – ANYTHING but speed harmonization. 

 

On another note, there was something else of interest that I noted on my way into the office this morning.  A poster on the window outside of Tully’s (YES I got coffee this morning, I have NO willpower – tell me how to stop – Please) caught my eye.  Mainly because at first I couldn’t tell if the picture was of a man or a woman.  My second thought was, “OMG it is Sanjaya – what is he up to these days?” (other than having a fan set up in front of him so his hair can fly free in the wind and he can successfully look like the cover of a romance novel…in hair only)  I’ll tell you what he’s up to, after all you did ask, he is performing at the Northshore Performing Arts Center, which is awesome on two levels.  First, my sister just happens to teach at the high school where it is located – I will be calling her today to alert her just in case she is unaware.  Of course, I would go, but Sanjaya makes me feel uncontrollable rage and I’m afraid I might rip off the head of an innocent victim – nobody needs to see that.  Also of interest, the Northshore Performing Arts Center is at Blake Lewis’s rival high school – maybe he’ll show up at the concert!  No, I do not know this because of my stalking abilities, although they are excellent, I know this because I went to high school with Blake Lewis.  I know, so awesome right?  Don’t be jealous…but I also went to elementary, junior high, AND college with him.  And despite going to school with him for 17 years and riding the bus together as little kids we did not say one word to each other…BUT I did say a word or two to another girl I went to HS with who became a playboy playmate.  I feel that this is a better accomplishment because Blake Lewis is going around and saying stupid things like, “Titties in your mouth!”  What does that even mean anyways?

 

 

Pull Shapes! April 7, 2008

Charlie and I got in a little tiff Friday night – it was actually mostly on my end.  Let’s just say that there are occasions when I am easily offended.  Of course, with me being me, I just got all quiet and pouty for the rest of the night.  But there were two things that night which managed to make me smile despite every effort I made to look angry.  The first one involved a shirt at Value Village, which I will post on later in the week, be sure to come back and have a good laugh at someone’s expense!  On the way home from Value Village I was sticking in random CD’s with the intent of listening to depressing songs to enforce my annoying and immature poutiness and as an added bonus it was driving Charlie nuts.  But for some reason, I probably wasn’t thinking straight – I’d imbibed quite a bit of wine AND the Value Village trip had somewhat thrown me for a loop, I put in the Pipettes CD and listened to Pull Shapes.  I immediately started dancing in my seat and was in a fabulous mood the rest of the weekend.  The Pipettes are a modern day version of the ’60’s girl group and I love their CD.  As for the music video for Pull Shapes all I can say is I want to replicate this party.  I’m not really sure how, but I do know that it is going to involve the Value Village shirt (here’s a little sneak peek for you: it’s like a cape that is covered completely in sequins.  COMPLETELY!)  Maybe I could just give guests instructions in the invitations, such as: you are to be the naked girl that runs around, you are to be the vapid guy that just smiles and bobs his head, you are to be the creepy girl making eyes at all the boys in the room, and so on and so forth.

My desert island discs March 13, 2008

The radio station 103.7 in Seattle does a program every day around lunch time called Desert Island Discs where listeners submit the 5 discs they would want with them if they were stranded on a desert island and then the radio plays songs from the list if your list is deemed worthy enough.  I am afraid to submit my list because I’m pretty sure it would be rejected…that and I’m lazy.  But here I have the power to decide who is worthy and who is not (cue evil laugh here).  So here is my list with explanations as to why said CD is so flippin’ awesome: 

  1.  Dave Matthews Band: Crash

*This CD has stood the test of time. Period.

    2.  Rilo Kiley: Under the Blacklight

*I knew I wanted a dance CD included or at least an upbeat CD.  I know this isn’t considered dance music, but I LOVE it and it always makes me want to dance.  Plus Moneymaker is my new ringtone and I do a little dance every time somebody calls me.  I was also considering We Are The Pipettes, but this one eventually won out…but it was close!

  3.  Sara Bareilles:  Little Voices

*I wish I could brag like my friend Jeni that I got to hear her before everybody else at a friend’s baby shower no less.  But, alas, no I went to see her at the Paramount – where she was awesome!  AND she was wearing a very cute orange dress that I want to steal.  But that is not why I would take this CD (obviously!).  No, this CD is a must because it is one of those rare finds where I love absolutely every song on it – it’s fantabulous.  Plus, I can sing loudly to it and there will be nobody there to tell me to shut the hell up ‘cause I sound god-awful. 

  4.  Jack Johnson:  In between

*This should be pretty obvious.  If it’s not go out and buy it.  But I will say this, when I’m hit with a full-blown panic attack this always calms me down.

  5.  Dixie Chicks:  Taking the long way

       *Make fun of me if you must, but I LOVE the Dixie Chicks!  This CD blew me away when I first heard it and still does every time I listen to it.   

So naysayers – say what you will I care not! So, my dear readers (reader?), am I off my rocker?  Do you think my taste in music is deplorable?  I know some people do!  Should I have included Blackout by Britney Spears?  It was up there…I almost did.  All the sudden I’m plagued with doubts!  I need reassurances!

Song lyrics to incorporate into everyday conversation February 18, 2008

1.  Abracadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya!

2. Get out of my dreams, Get into my car.

3.  Lend me some sugar, I AM your neighbor!

4. If the elevator tries to get you down, go CRAZY!

5. Let’s get physical, physical!

Top 10 Love Songs February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine’s Day!  In honor of V-day I made a list of my fave love songs of the moment in no particular order:

1.                   Otis Redding – That’s How Strong My Love Is

2.                   Alicia Keys – No One

3.                   The Beatles – All You Need Is Love

4.                   Beach Boys – God Only Knows

5.                   Randy Travis – Forever and Ever, Amen

6.                   Jack Johnson – Better Together

7.                   Etta James – Sunday Kind Of Love

8.                   Marvin Gaye – How Sweet it is

9.                   Frankie Valli – Can’t Take My Eyes off You

10.               Ingrid Michaelson – Take Me As I Am