Sickie poo July 24, 2008

My Wednesday:

 

6:26 am - Realized I slept through my alarm. Not really upset though because I feel like I’m about to die.

 

7:00 am - After lying wide awake in pain for half an hour Chuckles alarm goes off. I call in sick and then hobble to kitchen. Must force down cereal because can’t take pills on empty stomach. Feel like I might throw up at any minute.

 

7:30 am - Tried to go back to sleep. However, there was some sort of truck drilling right outside the bedroom window.

 

11:54 am - Woke up to phone ringing. Jumped out of bed to answer it, ran down hallway only to discover it was a wrong number. Since I was already up laid on couch and watched the last hour and a half of Grease.

 

12:47 pm - Phone rings again. Answer it. Person hangs up. This happens five more times in the afternoon.

 

1:00 pm - Watch True Hollywood Story of Home Improvement for two hours. Don’t ask me why. I wasn’t thinking clearly.

 

4:00 pm - Decide that if I really want to watch my 3 yr old nephew play t-ball I should probably change out of my pj’s.

 

4:15 pm - Still feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. Break down into tears because I really WANNA GO! Realize I’m being a pussy, take more ibuprofen than I probably should have and make it to the t-ball game just in time.

 

6:00 pm - Well worth it! It is hilarious watching a group of three yr olds play baseball. Jared’s helmet was about three sizes to big for him so he had to hold it on so it didn’t fall off. We had to tell them when to run and half of the time they’d run after the ball they just hit or run to third base instead of first. Jared would routinely look over at us and wave with a big smile on his face (I wonder how long that will last). Then my parents treated us to dinner.

 

All in all it was a good day because it ended on a good note. My two nephews are hilarious and adorable. I don’t know what my big sis was thinking when I asked her how her summer was going being at home with the boys all day and she replied, “I’m thinking about becoming an alcoholic. SERIOUSLY.”

Cool, man…very cool June 17, 2008

I am in a real funk today so I wasn’t planning on posting anything because I had a feeling that whatever I wrote would be a nasty pile of whiney, anxiety-filled vomit, which I am sure nobody is interested in reading. But then I went on my lunch break. I had inadvertently let my tabs expire so my plan for my precious free hour was to go to a place that is second only to Disneyland in terms of happiness, the DOL. First, though I had to dig through all the crap in my back seat to look for either my registration or that bill they kindly send you two months in advance. Of course I couldn’t find either of these things, but I thought I would go anyways and see if they could still hook me up. So I sat in my car and went to start it and, well, my keys had disappeared into the black hole that is the back seat of my car. At some point between unlocking my car and going to start it I lost. my. keys. This is why “clean my car once a month” is on my 101 list. At this point I had to tear my car apart to find my keys. Am I the only person who is this disorganized and scatterbrained? Sometimes I even shock myself with my disorganization, but I did find them! Woohoo! And I was able to get new tabs! Woohoo! No longer do I have to worry about getting pulled over…at least not for expired tabs. On my way back to work I decided to stop at Tully’s because I received the most awesomest gift this weekend: an espresso machine! I decided it was a perfect time to stop and purchase coffee for my new toy so I can start making my own delicious mochas in the morning. First, I pulled into the parking lot and there was zero parking - it’s quite the popular lunch destination. Also, there was a stupid ass hummer taking up two spots. I wanted to leave a note on the windshield saying, “I don’t know if you noticed, but there is limited parking here so could you PLEASE not take up two spots with your stupid gas guzzler. And you wonder why everybody hates you.” But as I was looking for a pen and paper I saw somebody leaving and went to grab their spot. I hurried in to get my coffee and was checking out their coffee displays and did not see any espresso coffee so I politely asked the cashier where I could find it and, well, here’s the conversation that followed:

 

Cashier: Do you have an espresso machine?

 

Me: Yes.

 

Cashier: Like…a real one?

 

Me: Do they make toy ones?

 

Cashier: I mean one that makes espresso shots and steams milk?

 

Me: Yes! Are there any others?!

 

Cashier: Cool, man. Cool.

 

Me: So…Coffee?

 

Cashier: You could really use any coffee with it.

 

Me: Riiiigght…I think I’ll stick with espresso.

 

Cashier: Cool, cool…I don’t know where it is…(at this point other clerk butts in and says they keep it behind the counter and he’ll get me a pound)

 

Me: Can I also get that Chocolate bar on the bottom shelf?

 

Cashier: Cool…the one with powdered sugar?

 

Me: There isn’t one with powdered sugar! The one with Chocolate!

 

Cashier: Right, cool…that’s a good one man.

 

Me:…ummmm, so, are you going to ring me up or what?

 

Cashier: Right, man…haha…kind of drifted off into space there didn’t I?

My fiasco of a night April 24, 2008

Allow me to update you on how my busy night went. First, I dropped the car off and things went Grrrrr-eat! (I’m eating Frosted Flakes right now and they are really good, in fact, you might say Grrrr-eat!) The car place was super fast and I was in and out in under 15 minutes - I took this as a good sign as for how the rest of the night would follow. This was my first mistake. (Do you like that foreshadowing there?)

Then I went and worked out - that went well except for the part where I thought I was going to have a heart attack, but I guess that is supposed to happen. Then I went home and showered and packed - I’m not a very good packer so I’m bringing two duffel bags for 3 days. I don’t even know what’s in there I just started throwing stuff in and I already have a long list of stuff I forgot. Annnywaaay, I then went to drop off my prescription, but forgot my insurance card. No biggie - I’ll just drop it off later. But, little did I know, this would be the first in a long string of mis-steps.

So I went to the store got my ingredients for my cookies, which weren’t really cookies more like rice krispie treats with corn syrup instead of marshmallows with chocolate frosting (Don’t they sound healthy?). I think I was in a daze at the store because I don’t really remember going, but I was definitely there…who knows what I did there, I probably just wandered around and picked up random items while singing to myself.  I shouldn’t be allowed out in public. I manged to get to Chuckles and immediately started making the cookies. And by immediately I mean after watching two hours of TV. I immediately realize I didn’t have enough peanut butter so I ran home and grabbed my peanut butter. I got back and immediately realized that I didn’t have a clean 9×13 pan - the only one I had had brownies in it. I know why am I making cookies when I have brownies? I don’t know so don’t ask. At this point I’m already thinking I wasn’t meant to make these cookies tonight, but I take the brownies out and clean the pan. Now I am ready to go. Finally, when will this night end? I started heating the corn syrup and sugar, things were going well, I’m stirring a lot and trying to overhear what’s going on on Law and Order and then…the oven caught on fire. I SET CHUCKLES’ OVEN ON FIRE. Did you hear me?! I caused a FIRE! Since I’m a really smart girl I took the pan off the burner that had flames erupting from it and then started screaming, “OH MY GOD THE OVEN’S ON FIRE!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! CHUCKLESSSSSSSSSS, HELP ME!” Did I turn the burner off? Don’t be silly, of course not. Don’t fret though, I did finish the sweets, oh, and Chuckles just blew on the flames and they went out - there were a few more hitches along the way, but none of them compare to a kitchen fire so I won’t even bore you with how I bought the wrong chocolate chips and so on. We’re still not sure what it was that caused the fire, but there was something under the burner that is so charred right now we have no idea what it is. But Chuckles assured me that he will take it to the lab to find out because he would like to know what it was that I used to try and burn down his house and kill him with. I’ll let you know when the lab results get back.