This is the part where I offend as many people as I can May 14, 2008
This post will be about my ability to feel hatred for people who are completely undeserving of it. Kiala at Face of the Cookie wrote a post a while ago about how funny AIDS is and it reminded me of this story. Maybe I’ll get a lot of shit for my post just like Kiala did. I hope so! But if you can’t laugh at AIDS what CAN you laugh at? That statement alone should anger at least 20 people. AT LEAST. Annnnywaaay, about a year ago I used to live in Green Lake with my awesome roommate Jeni and we had quite the Blast. Our apartment was ok minus the old appliances and the fact that it was infested with ants. Lots and lots of ants. But it was big and it was in Green Lake and across the street from a cool bar so we put up with the damn ants and the inevitable ant traps that were everywhere. It was also pretty affordable…probably because of the ants. We moved into it almost two years ago to the day - right when the weather was getting sunny. The apartment building across from us had much nicer and Fancier apartments. We’re talking new appliances, huge balconies, and it didn’t look like it was about to fall apart. The apartment also had young girls who just sat on the balcony alternately sunbathing and having parties all while wearing cute clothes and drinking. I hated them. They were ALWAYS there. They didn’t appear to have jobs and could afford an Awesome apartment and lots of booze and fashion-y dresses. So one night to make myself feel better my friend J and I decided they probably had STD’s and that made everything alright. Sure I was overly jealous of their lives, but, hey, I don’t have any STD’s, so THERE! But we couldn’t exactly go around and say things like, “Can you believe the dress that syphilis girl was wearing?!” or “I can’t believe the girl with Crabs has yet another boy stalking her!” So we called them the High Five girls. Totally innocent to anybody who has no idea that in my mind High Five is slang for the AIDS. As in HIV…GET IT?! So now you all know what a horrible person I am.
I tried really hard to post this video in this post, but it wouldn’t let me so you’ll just have to click on the link to watch it. I apologize to all you lazy people, but it’s a Family Guy clip so you KNOW it’s worth it: The AIDS Song.
I hate those girls with their dresses.
Whores.
I hope they die of sunburn and AIDS.
Bahahaha I actually had a horrendous hungover (still drunk in the morning) discussion with friends about the whole realm of STDs. We prefer to pronounce HIV phonetically…and then create a whole scenario of how getting tested for “the hiv” is the russian roulette of our days.
Offensive? Sure…
But seriously…if you’re not laughing, you’re crying.
Let’s start a blogger’s club in hell, no?
High Five…so clever! I am so going to steal that.
Although, on the STD Humor Scale, I think that gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia are probably funnier. Oh, and crabs. Can’t forget about the crabs.
I hate those girls. Just like the local ones walking down shopping row with their f*cking $1000 bags and look like a $5 whore.
Looks like no one is leaving you hate comments yet. I too refer to it as “the hiv” (instead of spelling it out) I thought this post was really funny : )
Oh my god, I am so offended. And after you put that in KK’s comments, Steve and I started calling it High 5. Because we were so offended. OOOOWWWWW my ears!
Kristen - Yeah! I hope they die of cancer! HAHA! Nobody can wear cute dresses except for ME!
Ben - The HIV - I Love it! Count me in for the blogger’s club in hell - now we just need a witty name for it.
Megan - Syphilis and crabs are my favorite. Not my favorite as in I want them, but…oh, you know what I mean.
Jessica - Tell me about it! I HATE those rich girls that dress like skanks - I’m talking to YOU Paris! Are you listening?!
Heather - Yeah! I’m excited people are laughing instead of telling me what a bad person I am.
Melissa - This blog thing is great - soon everybody will call it High 5. I can’t wait! I’ll try and stop hurting your ears though…
I thought I had AIDS once. Turned out I was just constipated. I think Fiber One would have cured the AIDS, though, too.
This is the most disgusting vile thing I’ve ever read in my life. How could you possible be making fun of such a topic like this. I hope you lock your keys in your car and can never get them out!
/end impersonating an outraged person.
I do like that Family Guy song. HIV equals high five? Dammit! Now i look like a fool.
Crabs are, by far, the funniest. No contest.
Justin - Interesting theory. Maybe Fiber One is a cure all for everything…
rs27 - What a horrible thing to wish on someone! I hope YOU lock your keys in your car. HAHAHA! HA!
Arielle - So true, there really is nothing funnier than little insects crawling around in somebody’s cooch…actually, when you stop to think about it it’s pretty gross. I just won’t think about it literally…there, that’s better.