I was wrong…Again May 12, 2008

Don’t you hate it when you have to admit you were wrong? This past weekend retreat wasn’t total bullshit. I actually (gulp) had fun. I made a lot of new friends, which makes school a LOT more bearable. Talking with other students who are in the same boat as me and just as stressed somehow made me not as stressed despite the fact that there are still not enough hours in the week. We were able to give each other pep talks about how sleep is overrated and it’s only a month and it’ll all be over soon. But (I hate when there’s a but for good things) there was one negative thing. There was a girl who had a very negative attitude and whenever I had any interaction with her it really had an effect on me and she said some very questionable things to me. By questionable I mean rude and bitchy. Luckily, we were only in the same group Saturday morning. But I find myself dreading class this week because I don’t want to see her. I have always been the type of person to be easily influenced by the moods of those around me, but I am really going to focus on not letting other’s negativity affect me to such a great extent.  I find myself focusing solely on her as opposed to the rest of the weekend, which I seem to remember genuinely enjoying. The interesting thing is as I was watching this person out of the corner of my eye so that if she started to approach me I could make a quick get-away I noticed that she never smiled or laughed. That can’t be a fun way to live so I am doing my best to not focus on her behavior towards me because I don’t believe it has anything to do with me (considering we had zero interaction before this weekend), I think she must just have her own issues to work out. Since I am the type of person that can not stand it when people don’t like me I kept reaching out to her over the weekend and it did NOT go well. I really need to learn to let go and accept the fact that there is only one person out of thirty that doesn’t like and who gives a shit. Plus I don’t even like her much so why do I want her to like me? I have no fucking idea.

 

So I will end on a happy note. There was no ropes course as previously believed. Instead, there was something far worse: a giant ladder. I know it doesn’t sound so bad does it? Well, you are just going to have to trust me on this one. I thought it would be really easy…that is until I got up on it and proceeded to hyperventilate and swear like a motherfucking pirate. My class was quite shocked, which, in turn, shocked me. Is it really that shocking to hear a girl scream FUCK at the top of her lungs? Don’t worry though, they weren’t offended. They were shocked in a that was really funny way. For some reason when people first meet me they think I am a goody goody. I am not sure why I give off that type of vibe, but I do and people always end up surprised as they get to know me. The other good thing is that we were constantly moving and the food sucked so I am pretty sure I lost around five pounds. Woohoo! In my mind that brings me into bikini territory…I just have to maintain it for the rest of the summer or even better: keep losing weight.

 

I really dropped a lot of F-bombs in this post. I apologize to anybody I offended, but once I start I can’t fucking stop.