Pirate Fantasy February 29, 2008

Like the rest of the world I have a fascination with pirates.  And when I say fascination I mean extremely obsessed with…although I have become better at hiding this crazy, shameful part of me over the past couple years.  I need to point out that this obsession of mine started way before everybody else’s.  It also did not arise from a love of Johnny Depp (although I do love Johnny Depp and his eyeliner) but this instead arose from wanting to date a pirate.  If that pirate happened to be Johnny Depp – I would be ecstatic to say the least.  So why do I want to date a pirate you ask?  It is really quite simple – I just like a man who can handle his liquor, wants to travel the world, and has buried treasure.  Isn’t it obvious?!  I know what you’re thinking (yes, I am psychic) – Megan, you can’t go traveling with him!  There’s no girls allowed on the boat, duh!  Yes, this is true.  But my pirate would be so infatuated with me he’d be willing to stow me away on the boat.  I’d probably go disguised as a cabin boy and my pirate and I would have to hide our love for each other.  The other pirates would educate me on the ways of women and tell me dirty jokes and I’d have to hide how offended I was by them.  I’d also become very good at drinking rum and then my pirate and I could have drinking contests without me throwing up on his shoes.  It would all be quite exciting!  It seems I’ve gone off on quite the tangent…anywho, my 3 year old nephew also loves pirates.  Luckily for him society does not look down on him for playing with toy pirate ships and he has 3!  Every time I baby-sit all I want to do is have pirate battles, but nooooo, we have to play with the Star Wars figurines.  I never get to play with the pirates - just Han Solo.  Life is so unfair.

Showering Optional February 28, 2008

On my way into work today I heard on some morning radio show a rumor about how Orlando Bloom has a hygiene problem.  The specifics being somewhat hazy but involved wearing dirty clothes and not showering.  Is it bad that instead of being disgusted I wondered if this gave me a free ticket for only showering every other day?  I mean we’re talking about Orlando Bloom here – if people called me out on it I could just say, “What?  Orlando Bloom does it!”  Not that I would actually do it, I like my job, but that’s like an extra 45 minutes of sleep!  And, no, I do not take 45 minute showers – I just have hair with a mind of its own.  Unless I spend a significant amount of time showing it who’s boss it might think becoming a crack whore is a good idea. 

Hmmm…Greasy food February 28, 2008

I decided I deserved a treat today – mostly just a reward for sleeping in and getting in to work an hour late.  After much debate, it was decided I would lunch at Denny’s – if I were a cheerleader I would be able to come up with some perky cheer about greasy food, but, alas, I am not.  As I was waiting to be seated I couldn’t help but notice the poster they had hanging in the lobby, which showed an elderly couple enjoying dinner and right next to their picture it said, “Treat them to a night out on their anniversary.”  I really hope they don’t mean a night out at Denny’s.  Don’t get me wrong – I probably love Denny’s more than your average citizen.  In fact, I think the words “Denny’s is like Disneyland to me – the happiest place on earth,” have crossed my lips (it’s quite embarrassing for me to admit that, but for anybody who knows me this shouldn’t come as a surprise, plus nobody else makes my hash browns the way I like them!)  Anyway, my point is Charlie’ll get it if we ever end up at Denny’s for our anniversary dinner.  And by get it I mean sleep with one eye open buster.

Bueno! February 27, 2008

I am absolutely loving the Big Brother 9 cast.  Although, I can’t help wondering if there’s an IQ limit when casting…either that or only not so smart people apply to be on the show.  Anyway, I think it goes without saying that these people are crazy.  They didn’t show it last night (maybe it’ll be part of tonight’s show) but they practically had an orgy in the pool one night after Chelsia, Natalie, and Josh did a striptease for the whole house.  But, despite not showing any of the striptease (I think all they’ll be able to show anyways is Natalie going on about how she’s never kissed a girl before), last night’s show was still interesting thanks to Amanda and Allison both having to be taken to the hospital.  They never did say what brought on Allison’s allergic reaction and I’m quite curious…  At any rate, my point of all this is that after all this craziness happened mental case Sheila said, “We’re not robots, we have feelings!”  Thank God for Sheila and that epiphany and I will do my best to remind people every day that we are, in fact, not robots.

The Hundred Secret Senses February 26, 2008

I finished reading The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan last night.  I would definitely recommend this book to people.  Amy Tan is just such a good story-teller – she sucks you in to this other world even if you don’t want to go.  Much of this book is about the relationship between Americanized Olivia and her very Chinese half-sister Kwan.  Kwan has “yin” eyes and can communicate with the ghost world.  The reader is still able to suspend their belief and become engrossed in the book partly because Olivia is doubtful of Kwan’s beliefs for you.  I really enjoyed the story of Olivia and her husband Simon.  The book tells of how they fell in love and of the subsequent divorce.  One of my favorite lines was when Olivia and Simon were going for a walk and Olivia wanted to turn back, but doesn’t tell Simon – she wishes Simon could just know without her telling him so she doesn’t sound like a demanding b*tch.  Because of this, among many other things, I found Olivia very easy to connect to.  Overall, on a scale of 1-10 I’d give it an 8.

The gnome’s gonna get it! February 25, 2008

For reals, the noose is around his neck.  For my job I have just spent all morning on the phone with Travelocity trying to get some clarification as to what exactly the wires they are sending us are for.  And, I just can’t resist, I have to share my favorite moment:

Me:  Hi, can I get the number for your AP department?

Travelocity (This would be the 7^th person I’ve talked to):  Excuse me?

Me:  I just received a wire from Travelocity and just need some clarification regarding what invoices you are paying.

Travelocity:  Ma’am, in the 4 years I’ve worked here I have never heard of an AP department

Me:  You’re telling me you don’t have an accounts payable department?  Somebody must pay your bills!

Travelocity:  What?

Me:  Travelocity’s bills – who pays them?

Travelocity:  Bells?  Travelocity bells?!  What are you talking about?!

Makeover Time February 25, 2008

I can not go more than a year without drastically changing my hairstyle.  I just get bored really easily!  Usually, I do this by changing the length or style of the cut – the past few years it has been by changing my bangs, but that is getting a bit old.  Since I am not allowed to cut off all my hair (per Charlie – typical guy) that means changing the color.  For the past 2 years I’ve had hidden blond highlights, which were nice because when my roots started to come in you couldn’t see them.  You can never go wrong with low-maintenance.  But the blond was frying my hair so I decided to get rid of them.  I went to the salon (Vain in Ballard) open to suggestions and found myself sitting in the chair telling myself, “be a risk taker for once!”.  Given that fact I guess I should be glad I didn’t leave with hot pink hair.  Which reminds me of a funny story:  earlier in the day I was talking to Charlie about how me going blond would be a bad idea to which he said, Yeah, you’d have to dye the rest of you…like your arms and chest.  Anyway, I now have super dark brown hair, almost black, with siren red chunks throughout.  I am a little nervous that it looks somewhat goth.  The color is semi-permanent so it should fade after a while…Anyway, I will post pictures as soon as I get my new computer (just a couple days!) then everybody can tell me if they love/hate it. 

*A co-worker walked into my office this morning and said, I quote, “Wow…that’s cool.  So it’ll fade right?”  Luckily, I do not overly value this person’s opinion.

The Liberal Mind February 22, 2008

I find Ann Coulter quite entertaining.  Recently I read a quote of hers about how John McCain is worse than the democratic nominees and this election will be like putting a gun in her mouth.  In fact she’s endorsed Hillary Clinton instead of McCain.  I mean she’s absolutely hilarious!  Am I right or am I right?  After reading this awesome quote of hers I decided to go to her website to see what other jewels I could unearth.  But, instead, I found something very serious and I can’t thank Ann Coulter enough for bringing it to my attention.  Apparently, being liberal is a mental disorder.  In fact an eminent psychiatrist has written a book delving into this serious issue.  Here’s a link to the book:  http://www.amazon.com/Liberal-Mind-Psychological-Political-Madness/dp/097795630X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203707166&sr=8-1.  And here’s a little excerpt from the product description: 

So extravagant are the patterns of thinking, emoting, behaving and relating that characterize the liberal mind that its relentless protests and demands become understandable only as disorders of the psyche.

 All I have to say is thank god my medical insurance kicks in in a week and I can be treated for this horrible disease.  Tell your liberal friends!    

I can’t wait til the next 4 years are over February 22, 2008

So in a little over a month I will be back in school.  Of course part of me is excited because I have always loved being a student, but, at the same time, I am really nervous about business school.  I am mostly worried about getting burned out too quickly since I’ll be working and going to school full time.  But, more than that, I think that for the next four years school is going to define my life…if that makes any sense.  It was great for the 4 years I was in college that school was my life, but that’s not what I want now.  I couldn’t even tell you what it is I want my life to be like for the next 4 years - all I know is I don’t want it to be going to lectures, work, and studying.  But, this is what I have to do to get where I want to be eventually, which is a stable career as a CPA.  So exciting I know!!  So my ultimate reason for doing this is more money/stability, but that is somewhat canceled out by the fact that I will be saddled with debt upon graduating.  The only conclusion to be made from all this is I need more motivation to successfully graduate with an MBA with a concentration in accounting.  So this is what will be driving me to succeed:  http://www.puggle.org/picture.asp?PicID=41988.  The day after I graduate I am getting one and I can’t wait!!!!!!

How to train your partner… February 20, 2008

Last night on the way home from the Sonics game (in which they had an awesome come-back by the way!) Charlie introduced to the Tom Leykis show.  There was a lot of calling women bitches, but it was an interesting topic.  The article that Leykis was referring to is linked below – it talks about how you can train your husbands/boyfriends much like you train your dog.  It basically breaks down to if you positively reinforce good behavior that behavior will become more frequent and nagging does not change behavior at all.  As a psychology major, I know that this has been proven to work with children.  As in, instead of spanking your kid when he hits his little brother praise him when he is nice to his little bro. I have no doubt that this would work if done right, but I have issue with the motives behind it.  As I said in an earlier post, I love Juno and Juno’s dad says perfectly what I believe: 

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

I think if you are trying to “Shamu” your boyfriend out of what you perceive his bad habits to be then maybe he’s not the right guy for you.  However, you could argue that I am still in the honeymoon phase with my boyfriend and maybe 5 years down the road I will feel the need to treat Charlie like a dog.   

http://www.newsweek.com/id/109614?g=1